Death of an older brother

How do you accept an older brother's death? I find it very hard. I'm used to having him around. He takes care of me when we were little.

Although we fight a lot, I still love him unconditionally. I miss my brother. I'm not very social so whenever we have gatherings I usually sit beside him.

Though he does not have a high-paying job like I do, I don't belittle him. I treat him like we're equal.

We are like living a double life. We are different at home and outside.

During his funeral, we discovered a lot of new things about him that we never imagined he is doing.

He serves God above others. He's been a soldier of the Lord.

He helps people who are in need. To me, he's just my brother. The one I pick a fight with. The one I play around with. But for others, he's Godly.

I just miss him being around. I just want to accept the fact that he's physically gone. But it HURTS!