Improve Your Self Confidence

Self confidence is a state of mind where you feel assured in who you are, a sense of empowerment.

It's not arrogance. Just a feeling that you know yourself and can handle any situation that arises. A life of abundance won't materialize until you achieve this mental toughness.

How are you when it comes to your self confidence?

Rather than feeling self-assured, you more often than not feel unsure of yourself, don't you? You know you want to live a life of abundance but you just can't seem to develop enough belief in your own abilities.

You need to work on building self confidence.

I'd like to help you with that.

Ever since I can remember I've had an over-all positive sense of self acceptance and assurance. I attribute that first of all to my Mom & Dad. They raised me in a way where they always looked after me but also let me discover things and think on my own.

They were always there when I fell and helped me see how to learn and move on. I was never allowed to feel like I wasn't loved.

I think being loved unconditionally is the number one thing that helps a person develop confidence early on. If you're loved, you never feel like your mistakes define you. And if you lose confidence, you develop the strength to gain it back.

Not everyone has the luxury of loving parents. Maybe you didn't have that. But there comes a time in everyone's life where you have to overcome your environment, learn the effects of low self confidence and develop your self worth if you're seeking a life full of abundance.

Now, just because I've had good over-all sense of self assurance doesn't mean there haven't been areas of my life where I've struggled to achieve it. Let's discuss some ideas and confidence tips that have helped me. Use these ideas. They work.

Build Self Confidence Ideas

First of all, turn off the TV once in awhile and read. My love of reading has played a huge role whenever I've needed to develop better self assurance. It doesn't even need to be a book written about how to specifically improve your self assurance.

Even a fictional novel can help sometimes develop self confidence just because you may read about a character with a problem similar to yours. You may find a little nugget of info or confidence quote that helps you think about yourself differently or in a new light.

But, of course, there are tons of books you can find that will help you specifically on your personal growth journey. I'll list three I recommend and then let them lead you to more:

1) "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", by Stephen R. Covey - One of the things he discusses is being proactive. Learning to be this way can't help but improve your self confidence.

2) "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind", by Dr. Joseph Murphy - Learn how what goes on in your subconscious may be sabotaging your state of self assurance.

3) Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul", by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Heather McNamara - A collection of people who've overcome things such as losing a loved one, financial problems, disease, physical challenges, etc. I guarantee you'll find similarities between some of these people and yourself. As you do, tap into their "overcoming" mentality and realize that you can do the same.

You'll read about people who have it far worse than you. Develop a sense of thankfulness for who you are. If these people can develop the self assurance to pick themselves up, so can you!

If you're struggling with your self confidence, you're probably talking to yourself negatively. This is one of the biggest causes of low confidence. You need to stop this. Yes, I recommend you talk to yourself ;-) But it needs to be positive.

A great way to develop this habit is to write a positive affirmation down and tape it to your bathroom mirror. Each day, morning and night, read it out loud to yourself. It could be something like,

Make up your own that hits on precisely the area you'd like to improve self assurance in.

Now, I don't believe that mindlessly repeating something by itself over and over is going to miraculously make you a happier person. It takes deeper understanding of yourself but I feel this is a good start.

You need to shut down the negative stuff by putting some positive self talk into your mind on purpose. After awhile, it'll become a more natural part of you.

Visualization goes along with positive self-talk. I believe it's much more effective, however, in realizing positive change in your life. If you lack self confidence with something in your life, begin to visualize a positive outcome in your mind.

When you do this, make it extremely vivid. See it in your mind as if you're watching a movie. You'll be amazed how our minds can help us almost "predict" the future through visualization.

I'll give you a personal way I use this. I play guitar in a band on the side for fun. I feel self assured about my abilities but there's always that nervousness and uncertainness before we play.

I help myself overcome any lack of self confidence in what I need to do with visualization. I mentally see myself going through our set. I see myself playing flawlessly and having a great time. It works every time.

Whenever you lack self confidence, ask yourself if it's because you're unprepared. Being fully prepared is a great way to gain self assurance. Even something like feeling inferior in the presence of other people can be handled with preparation.

Let's say you have a problem talking with others. You never know what to say or feel like what you do say doesn't measure up. You need to fix this self expression issue.

When I was younger, I had this problem along with a problem of speaking to groups. I realized I had always picked jobs, for instance, where I was basically by myself. I don't think anyone really knew this about me. As I mentioned earlier, my over-all self confidence has always been high.

But I noticed there were certain personality types that made me uneasy and I didn't do well in conversing with them.

I'm a very calm, non-dominating person. I've never felt the need to be right all the time or be loud and boisterous. So I never felt comfortable talking with a caustic, overly dominating person who loves confrontation.

So you know what I did to fix this? I got into sales for a time. In fact, I talk about this business elsewhere on my site (the one that eventually left me broke and in debt).

But, it sure taught me how to deal with every personality under the sun! It also taught me my definition of courage.

Now, I don't care who the person is - I've learned to understand all personalities and no one intimidates me anymore. I also developed my public speaking skills in this business.

How do you think my self confidence is now when I meet new people? I look at it like I prepared myself by learning new skills.

You need to do the same thing. Find ways to prepare yourself better for wherever you're feeling a lack of self confidence or personal power. Only you can make the decision to do so.

Change your life,

Matt

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